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    One Day At A Time – (Chapter: Beauty In Walking Away)

    Story written on October 13, 2009 by AshesIntoFlames.
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    Number of Comments: 1
    Words: 1632
    Story Shortlink: https://assertive-maroon-jellyfish.104-250-143-187.cpanel.site/?p=80378
    Author Notes:

    The calm before the storm…

    “I’m sorry.”

    She sighs and turns her entire body to face me. “I don’t want you to apologize to me…I don’t need you to. I knew going in how you felt about her…I just…I guess I thought if I gave you enough time, you’d eventually have feelings for me.”

    I grab hold of her hands, squeeze them slightly to emphasize the point I’m about to make. “I do have feelings for you. I know I haven‘t always shown it, but I do care about you.”

    “I know that,” I look down at our joined hands as she continues “But you don’t love me. I know that you think I’m oblivious to things, but I’m not. I may not acknowledge them but I do notice. I feel it when you stiffen at my touch, how our kisses are always one-sided, or that you’ll say her name when we’re having sex. I know that your face doesn’t instantly light up when you see me like it does with Spencer. And, at first it didn’t bother me, I thought that eventually things would be different. But, it kept happening, and you weren’t even trying to hide it anymore, you weren’t even pretending to try and protect my feelings. And that hurt more than anything else.”

    “I’m sorry.” She gives me a look and I instantly backtrack. “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s all I got. I’m sorry that I hurt you, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

    “No one intentional sets out to hurt someone they care about, the fact that you didn’t mean to doesn’t change that you did, and neither is apologizing for it.”

    “I just don’t know what to say to make this okay.”

    She removes her hands from mine and gets up off the couch. “There’s nothing you can say, Ash. An apology isn’t gonna change how you feel about me or Spencer. It’s not gonna make you fall in love with me or fall out of love with her. It’s just gonna make us cling even more to this sinking ship and I don’t wanna wait until we completely hit bottom.”

    “I wish I could have fallen in love with you.” I say softly as the tears begin to fall.

    “But then you wouldn’t be able to get Spencer, and I know you will. You two are meant to be, it just took me a while to see that.” She moves towards me, kissing my lips before moving to whisper in my ear. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be enough for you.” She looks me in the eye after the last word leaves her lips and I can’t help the speed, in which, the tears fall. She gives me one last lingering kiss before stepping back and making her way towards the door. “Who knows, maybe I’ll find a Spencer of my own.”

    Suddenly my phone is vibrating, alerting me to a text message. I flip it open and see that it’s from Spencer. Somehow, she always seems to find me when I need her to most.

    “Meet me at our place.”

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    Comments

    1. I feel a tad bit sorry for kelly. all she did was love ash and all but at least she had the sense to break it off, realizing it wasn’t going to work. well at least part of ash’s guilt is gone, now spence just has to work on her issues, and they both need to work on their issues with each other. I love this story so much! can’t wait for the next update!!

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